10 reasons why I wouldn’t propose to my boyfriend on leap year day

I have immense respect for all folkoric traditions and more so for the Irish ones. But there are many reasons why I wouldn’t propose to my boyfriend on leap year day. In fact, I point out ten of those hereinafter.

A caveat: All things considered, this post supports all powerful women out there who have the guts to propose to their boyfriends and seal the deal in their lives.

Numero Uno:

A man is a man. In any culture, in any society, in any big city bright lights. If you look into men’s instructions for use, on page ten and a half in small, italic letters, you’ll see that men are programmed to, some day, some year, some millenium some where, propose to a woman . This is what they were programmed, created, born to do. Why take it away from them?

Numero Due:

A proposal is usually accompanied by an expensive diamond engagement ring. For some women receiving this ring is a pivotal moment in their lives. Yours truly aside, women often  dream of this moment as early as they can read, think, talk, more so if they happen to stumble upon Jane Austen in one of their younger literary journeys. Proposing in the absence of an engagement ring, means one of two things: a) women will buy their own ring and ask for a reimbursement from their man upon an acceptance of the proposal or even worse b) risk an acceptance of the proposal in the absence of a ring and then wait for the ring at their fiance’s convenience. Neither, a very promising prospect.

Numero Tre:

“You’re engaged? Really? OMG! How did Jim/John/Smith propose, then?” The way a wedding proposal is made, tops women’s chatting charts. Going through the whole ‘I-proposed-to-him-on-leap-year-day’ explanation isn’t so appealing. Every woman craves for the opportunity to brag on how intelligent, how incurably romantic the wedding proposal she received, was.

Numero Quattro:

Kneeling on one knee isn’t so convenient for women especially if they’re wearing an evening dress or a skirt in high heels. And it is highly unlikely they’d kneel to propose to a man -even writing this makes my skin crawl- in a room full with people, such as a popular restaurant or bar. But we would love the other-way-around scenario. Our handsome alpha-male kneeling on one knee, declaring his undying love and lust for us in front of  all those people. Go figure!

Numero Cinque:

Champagne: A wedding proposal is naked without a champagne to wash the excitement down. Champagne usually costs a bit (although a sparkling wine may still do the trick just fine, especially this day and age) so do cunning women of today want to burden themselves with yet another expense? They’ve got a smashing wedding dress to save up for!

Numero Sei:

Froydian subconscious: Women aren’t programmed like men are (think of Stepford Wives reversed). But it is arguable that they are inclined to look up to and search for a man resembling their father. Not on the outside, that would be gross. On a behaviour level. So, more likely than not, their father proposed to their mother (not the other way around). I’d want a proposal that beats that one, at least!

Numero Sette:

The reaction to the proposal is a woman’s prerogative. I can’t imagine a proper reaction to a proposal by a man. If he’s been with you long enough for you to contemplate proposing on leap year day, then chances are he never intended to propose in the first place. Now, imagine this guy’s reaction when you bring him face to face with an obligation to buy a ring, or worst case scenario having to explain to you why he doesn’t actually want to get married. To you. Ever.

Numero Otto:

February isn’t such a good month for a wedding proposal anyway. Wedding proposals should take place in spring. A season of rebirth and rejuvenation. Not of icy mornings and rainy, gloomy afternoons. There’s an ulterior motive to this reason. Check out Numero Nove…

Numero Nove:

Atmosphere is everyting in a wedding proposal. If you had a choice of a steamy after-wedding-proposal evening, wouldn’t you want it taking place during a warmer season? Who wants to worry about heaters and dry throats from hyperventilation, or chilly bedsheets and muddy shoes? An atmospheric wedding proposal, idealy placed in summery Tuscany on the other hand definitely beats the leap year day, doesn’t it?

Numero Dieci:

Ah the mother of all reasons. Would any woman want to risk planning her wedding proposal only to fall in love with the nearsest hard-ass, impossibly opinionated Irish guy like that American woman in that film, Leap Year? Seriously now? Imagine he looks nothing like Matthew Goode. Oh no! I don’t care how sexy Irish accents are.

So my opinion? If you’ve been thinking about a wedding proposal long enough there’s two ways you can go about it: (a) cunningly inquire as to whether and if so how soon you will receive the proposal -after all it is your privilege to decide whether or not to accept it OR (b) cause a mini-shake in the relationship to test how strong it is such as by actually leaving.

I’d probably do something silly like break up to see what happens. If he’s clever enough he’ll get the drift. If he’s that stupid that he doesn’t, he wasn’t meant for me in the first place. Right?

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